Divorce might feel like the end of the world. Having seen yourself as part of a couple for years, you now must return to being single. Many people struggle with the adjustment.
Helpfully, there are concrete steps you can take that will allow you to move on after your divorce. As a seasoned Los Angeles divorce lawyer, I have seen some clients flounder after receiving their divorce decree, but I have also seen many more clients flourish. Here are tips for living your best life after divorce.
You aren’t doing yourselves any favors if you don’t allow yourself to mourn the loss of your relationship. As WebMD recommends, you should make a space for these negative emotions but don’t dwell on them. One option is to keep a diary in which you write about feelings of grief and unhappiness, but once you close the diary, you try to maintain a positive outlook.
Being physically active will help you feel better—just the release of endorphins should lift your mood. However, physical activity is also something that can occupy your mind and allow you to meet people. Join a pickup basketball league or a walking group. Take up tennis, golf, or bowling. Whatever you do, don’t do it alone.
This is a tough one. After a divorce, you might blame yourself for the marriage’s failure. You need to forgive yourself for your flaws. No one is perfect.
Of course, this is easier said than done. Just how do you learn to accept yourself? One way could be to take up a creative hobby, such as memoir writing, which allows you to think critically about your life but in a non-judgmental way. Writing a memoir could be a way to figure out who you truly are.
Life immediately after a divorce might seem topsy-turvy. You could be trying to find a new place to live and handling childcare responsibilities on your own. However, this is the perfect time to do something different. Do something you were too afraid to try before. Some options include:
Instead of focusing on returning to who you were before you were married, you can make personal growth the focus of the next few years.
You might hate being single. Some people really hate being single. Also, your ex could have immediately remarried right after the divorce, so you might feel pressure to get into a relationship.
However, it’s best to wait until you are truly ready. A little alone time can’t hurt, and you shouldn’t compare yourself to your ex. You’ll know when you want to get back out onto the dating scene, so trust your instincts.
If you are preparing for divorce, call us. We can help you with the process. Please call 877-721-4551 to schedule a free initial consultation, where we can answer your questions and help you learn about your legal rights.
Marriage is never easy. Even the most happily married couples fight and sometimes endure years where they question whether they really want to remain married. So when is it time to pull the plug and call it quits?
As an experienced Los Angeles divorce lawyer, I realize that the decision whether to divorce is a personal one which no one else can make. The following includes some helpful questions you should ask yourself. The answers might give you the information you need to pursue a divorce.
Divorce rarely goes smoothly. Among other problems, you will probably face:
If you cannot imagine these consequences, then you might want to delay divorce and work to save your marriage.
Sometimes, people threaten divorce because they are angry. You might have felt that you have lost control, or you might threaten divorce to shake your spouse out of complacency and to force change. These are not real demands for a divorce but instead, are inadequate means of expressing yourself.
However, if you calmly feel that divorce is right for you, then it could be time to file. Ask yourself, “What is my goal when I threaten divorce?” If the answer is anything other than “to finally divorce,” then you might not be ready.
Marriages have problems that can be worked on, such as a lack of intimacy or struggles around money. The key is to focus on whether you still have strong positive feelings for your partner. In a word, do you still “love” him or her? If you do, the marriage could be worth saving.
However, you also need to take a close look at your marriage. Some couples are married in name only but have focused solely on their own needs. Did you feel that you and your spouse worked together as a unit? Did you use “we” language more than “I” language when discussing your goals and dreams? You can’t save a marriage if you never really had one.
Many couples end up adopting this type of relationship: one spouse tries to increase intimacy while the other tries to gain some distance. These become roles that ultimately lead to eroded trust. To save the marriage, both partners will need to commit to breaking the pattern, otherwise, you should probably divorce.
Not every marriage can be saved, and divorce is often the first, painful step to a more fulfilling life. If you are considering divorce, or if you have received divorce papers, please get into contact with us. At the Law Offices of Evan Braunstein, we represent men and women in the divorce process, and we can explain your rights to you.
Please contact the office to schedule a free initial consultation.
You may assume that divorces are always messy – that separating couples fight, and that issues in a divorce take the intervention of a judge in order to resolve. However, this is not always the case; in fact, many couples are able to pursue an uncontested divorce, which mitigates high divorce expenses, stress, and hurt feelings. At the Law Offices of Evan Braunstein, our Los Angeles divorce lawyer advocates for uncontested divorce whenever possible. Here’s what you should know.
Before you file for a divorce with the help of a Los Angeles divorce lawyer, it’s important to get as much information about the divorce process as possible. Here are five surprising facts about divorce you should know, and if you need more information about divorce that’s specific to your situation, reach out to a qualified divorce lawyer.
When parents in Los Angeles decide to get divorced, the process of dissolving the marriage can be especially difficult for children. A Los Angeles divorce lawyer will tell you that sometimes kids mistakenly believe that they played a role in causing the divorce, while other children and teens simply have trouble coping with the fact that their parents will not be living together any longer or that they will need to spend time at two different homes in order to maintain relationships with both parents. The way a child responds to the divorce process is dependent upon many different factors, such as the child’s age and his or her current relationship with parents and siblings.
When you get divorced in Los Angeles, California, laws regarding property division, the establishment of a child support, child custody order, and all other divorce processes are applied to your case. It is possible to divorce your spouse if he or she lives in another state, although it’s best to do so with the help of a Playa Vista divorce lawyer. In many cases where the spouses live in two different states, the couple can choose where they want to file for their divorce, provided both partners meet their state’s residency requirement. After your divorce is finalized, either spouse moving to another state can potentially require the couple to modify one or more of their original divorce orders. Read more of this post.
I provide a free initial consultation for family law matters. This gives me an opportunity to meet with a potential client, learn about their situation and decide how I can most effectively represent them. I then prepare a detailed representation agreement that describes the specific legal services that I will provide in that particular case along with a fixed fee for those services. In a prior post, I suggested five questions to help you choose a family law attorney. Below are five things to bring with you to an initial consultation to help you and the family law attorney evaluate your case. Read more of this post.
In a divorce proceeding, bifurcation is the division of the divorce into two or more parts. In California, bifurcation is governed by California Family Law Code Section 2337. There are two types of bifurcation. In the first, the parties bifurcate the divorce by severing the issue of marital status from all other issues to obtain a “status-only divorce.” In the second, the parties bifurcate a single key issue from the rest of the case, and have a mini-trial to resolve that key issue. Both types of bifurcation can be especially useful to people getting divorced in today’s economic downturn.
Certain parts of a divorce such as the division and valuation of property, child custody, child support and spousal support can take longer to resolve than we would like. This is equally true whether the parties are negotiating or are preparing for trial. They may bifurcate the issue of marital status and reserve the court’s jurisdiction over all other matters. This can give them the peace of mind knowing that they are divorced, can move on with their lives, and can even remarry, while knowing that they will have the time necessary to properly resolve the other divorce issues.
Filing for dissolution of marriage in California requires that one of the parties meets certain residency requirements. Specifically, he or she must have been a resident of the state of California for the last 6 months, and of the particular county where the case is filed for the last 3 months. I wrote about California’s residency requirements for a dissolution of marriage in a previous blog post.
After the petition for dissolution of marriage has been filed with the court and properly served with a summons on the other party, the parties must wait a minimum of 6 months to become divorced. This 6 month waiting period cannot be shortened no matter how simple the matter, how amicable the parties, or how much they want the divorce to be finalized. In many cases, the parties are able to resolve all marital issues including division of property, spousal support, child support, and child custody in less than 6 months and are left counting the days until they can be divorced. Read more of this post.
Here are three legal terms that you should think about if you are thinking about filing for divorce:
One part of a divorce is the division of property. California is a community property state. All property obtained by either party during a marriage is presumed to be community property and jointly owned 50/50 unless the acquisition of the property was the result of a gift or inheritance. Any property acquired during a marriage that can be traced to separate property is also separate property. All other property, including property that was acquired before marriage or after the date of separation, is separate property. Certain actions and/or agreements Read more of this post.